Gender-based Language
He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
[Author Unknown]
Feel free to come up with your own lines:)
Labels: Weekend fun
Friday, February 16, 2007
Just because...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I supect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you dickhead. Some bastard has stolen our tent."
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on his face and the egg is frowning and looking a tad put out. The egg mutters to no-one in particular "I guess that answers THAT question".
and nothing like a little prayer for good measure:
Serenity Poem
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow
Lovely weekend everybody!Labels: Weekend fun
Saturday, February 03, 2007
some funnies for the weekend...
Evolution in Africa
Nothing like a warm welcome!
Talking about shit....
remember: nothing is cooler than a surfing Penguin;)
Labels: Weekend fun
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Anybody of you has an idea what I am referring to? Ok, what is the nr. 1 complaint men have about women? The feminists of us will love this!
No, not the shortage of sex (though that is a close contender!) NAGGING!!!
Most dictionaries explain this word with a reference to women´s constant faultfinding, complaints or demands. Sometimes there is no male equivalent.
Now, be that as it may...nagging was a punishable crime until the 19th century. Women who have been found guilty of nagging and scolding by the magistrate (and their husbands) would be sentenced to the "Ducking Stool", a punishment also reserved for prostitutes and witches. You have to imagine a woman strapped to a chair, hanging from the end of a free-moving arm. She would be dunked into a river for a certain length of time. Number of times and the length of each dunk would of course depend of the severity of her crime. Some women are tough and really want to train their husbands and the ducking stool does not always deliver the desired outcome, well...men are very inventive creatures and the punishment could exceed to her being dragged through town with an iron mask that has a metal bar going through the mouth holding their toungue down!!! http://www.shanmonster.com/witch/torture/duck.html
Labels: Weekend fun