And just when you thought ...
you had at least some strings in the puppet show called life, it comes collapsing down on you.
Most of you know that I have a love/hate relationship with the ice cube I live on. A passion that sometimes tears me apart.
When I go outside and just drive around the beauty enthralls me, makes me breathe and tempts me to stretch my wings and fly. And then you engage with its people and boom...you get whacked over the head and brought back down to reality.
Icelanders would never admit to it, but they are a bit xenophobic and by typing "a bit" I am being polite and trying to spare some people's feelings. Equality of the genders is rather far advanced on this petite little island, equality of people...not so much.
You will always be a foreigner here, regardless of how long you stay and how many people's family trees you can rattle down by heart.
There is a different kind of glass-ceiling and regardless how hard you try to throw the stone to smash it, it won't even leave a trace.
I am so tired of fighting...
Most of you know that I have a love/hate relationship with the ice cube I live on. A passion that sometimes tears me apart.
When I go outside and just drive around the beauty enthralls me, makes me breathe and tempts me to stretch my wings and fly. And then you engage with its people and boom...you get whacked over the head and brought back down to reality.
Icelanders would never admit to it, but they are a bit xenophobic and by typing "a bit" I am being polite and trying to spare some people's feelings. Equality of the genders is rather far advanced on this petite little island, equality of people...not so much.
You will always be a foreigner here, regardless of how long you stay and how many people's family trees you can rattle down by heart.
There is a different kind of glass-ceiling and regardless how hard you try to throw the stone to smash it, it won't even leave a trace.
I am so tired of fighting...
Labels: Iceland
15 Comments:
Aww Penguin - I'm sorry for your rough time sliding over the icy landscape of being a non native. Your cartoon is a perfect picture for your sentiment.
Hugs from across the sea. Setzen sie zich and have a cup of cocoa. *extends a wing and pats Penguin on the shoulders*
We bow before the Queen, that was a really interesting post and point of view.
terry, i will...sometimes I just have to let it out.
Tom and Icy, thank you. It was written in the spirit of the moment, I guess it makes for the mist honest transmission.
Well, Minka, I can't recommend the Great U.S. State of Maine to you. Anyone not a third-generation Mainer is a PFA ("Person From Away"). A group of people used to hang a sign from a freeway bridge in Portland on Labor Day - the day when most tourists leave the State to return home and get their kids started in school. "Tourists: Thanks for the money. Goodbye and good riddance."
I was confidently told by a fellow faculty member in New Zealand that it would be four years before I and mine would be invited to anyone's house. He was right.
And then there was Columbus, Ohio. Flat, featureless landscape, unless you count the corn and soybeans as features. Deadly hot in summer, ice cold in winter, and nothing in between. The people were wonderful. Go figure.
Till this moment I believed your life in Iceland is nothing but satisfying (other than the lack of trees, cold etc), and if you wish to leave sometimes that's just curiousity and desire to know other parts of the world. I thought of Iceland as a perfect little miracle, probably because I know so little of it, but it's turning out people are just people there too. :-)
I know about Hungarians choose to live in Canada, the USA, Australia, Austria, Sweden, and never feel home. They come home in a couple years, or they come home when they get old and left without children to raise, a job to do. But do they find the home they left behind? I cannot tell. Me, I am homeless in my own country, Kurt Vonnegut minus his brilliant brain. :-)
Extremely friendly, and ridiculously xenophobic. That was my take when there. And I fully understand needing to complain from time to time. The Dutch are fairly friendly and slightly xenophobic so I get these same frustrated feelings myself.
Expatriation is hard. As Ariel mentioned, repatriation is even harder!
Have a great weekend. I hope a little sleep makes it all look better.
Big bird, little island makes for tough nesting. I wouldn't want to be the glass over your head, though.
That's too bad. I wonder where the xenophobia comes from. Is there a big influx of foreigners trying to take all the Icelandic jobs?
In California, everybody is from somewhere else.
Iceland sounds a lot like Virginia. just sayin'... in some places folks cling to their so-called heritages tighter than a Curmudgeon hangs on to a steak.
in my head that almost makes sense. knowing what difficulties you're currently facing, however, does not. it also saddens me to no end. that said, i echo Doug's sentiment in thinking no glass ceiling is safe above YOUR beautiful and/or determined head.
hang in and/or ON, little Penguin. these things have a way of working out for the best once all is said and done. ; ) xox
Oc, this is what I figured: if teh landscape sucks and nothing is around to make people happy, tehy have to rely on their inner beauty and warmth. If a landscape has everything, teh people on it can afford to be rather self-involved :)
Ariel,I think finding your home is a tough battle. Mine is always progressing, eahc place I live is more and more getting close to what I sorta almost envisioned. I did learn however that mentality adn cultural differences do matter. Iceland is still taht magical place for me, and most days teh two of us get along just fine...but there comes teh time when I hurt my head trying to reacher higher and I feel I have to bring down teh entire ceiling to get ahead.
Morgan it did, I went out and embraced the ice and I feel much better now. They are extremely friendly you are right, but there is just this far you can go with them before tehy close off and in teh end you ar eleft with a contradiction.
Doug, I appreciate the sentiment although I am seriously hoping you did not call me fat just now!
Diesel, there is some influx of foreigners. There is very little unemployment in Iceland and I think the 32 people that are, have chosen it in soem way rather than not.
neva, yeah I guess you are right. I just hate to encounter rigid rules that make no sense and which are simply based on "becuase we have always done so!"
actonbell, well I feel like this about once a year...so I think overall it is still grand.I know the best people here, I just wish sensible change would come along quicker :)
I was saying something to break the ice.
LOL! I was thinking just that.
Minka - Doug would NEVER call anyone fat. Besides, (Big Bird is quite an endearing character here) peguins are just so, neither fat nor thin.
LOL Neva... just wondering, is your middle name Pollyanna by chance?
Minka, I can totally understand you. I've lived in Spain for 15 years. I eat Spanish food, dress like a Spaniard, and follow Spanish customs. My Spanish is nearly perfect; according to most my accent is hardly noticable, except maybe when I'm tired. But I'll always be a foreigner, even when I get my citizenship. I wasn't born here, and haven't had the same upbringing as the Spanish women of my generation, and that will always make me a little different. Besides, I am tall, blonde (at least for the moment), and have fair skin and light eyes, which most Spaniards do not. It used to bother me when people would say I'm different, or insinuate it, but I've decided that I really don't care anymore. I love it in Spain, my family is here, and this is my country now. There are always people around who will try to spoil things for others, and there is no perfect country, but you can't let that get you down.
terry, Doug adn I were playing on my avatar....:) he wouldn't dare otehrwise ;)
Theresa, I hear you. And I won't let it get me down...and if I have to go down, well...you usually see me struggling! Nobody can tell I am not Icelandic upon meeting me, it takes them a while after I have spoken to realize I am not Icelandic...the kids in my class since September still have no clue...still, when you miss a childhood somewhere, you miss nostaligia and therefore connection to yoru age group!
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