It´s Monday...
let´s have a laugh!
Sports is not for the faint-hearted!
Some people just like adding numbers, I guess!
And to sum it up:
"The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.
With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!""
Sports is not for the faint-hearted!
Some people just like adding numbers, I guess!
And to sum it up:
"The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.
With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!""
19 Comments:
That's blasphemy.
I hope it was a blast for you too. :)
diesel, guilty as charged. But i have never been christened nor confirmed, I never swore an oath to anybody...I think I´ll get away with it ;)
actonbell, I hope i wasn´t too nerdy about it...I get that way soemtimes when certain favourite authors of mine a concerned :) Glad you liked the joke :)
Minka -- too funny. That's for the Monday giggle.
I like the town sign. I've lived in towns that should have thought of that.
The jokes good too but to prove you aren't too nerdy, I'll go the extra mile and point out that Pinnochio was written with that allegory in mind.
Oh, mercy. Sorry.
I can sympathize with that town. I compulsively count things two; D
Good joke. Not what I was expecting.
Quilly, thank you ...are you gonna give us a Tuesday giggle, God knows I oculd use one right now!
Doug, my little walking encycolpedia, I will sleep so much better next night for knowing this:) *whispers in his ear*: I had no idea, I actually really didn´t know that. Yeah, I am not a nerd! Sorry about you though, mate! :)
goldennib, yeah this one caught me by surprise as well, I always assume those are the good jokes. Have a lovely Tuesday, you lovely winging thing!
Minka, a nerd is a fattened bully.
Hi Minka!
Like most of my Monday work tasks, I waited til Tuesday to get to the Monday joke.
Poor Pinocchio. While Geppetto and Jesus are talking up in heavan, he's firewood in 'Heck'. One too many lies.
Morgan
p.s. The 'heck' is for Quilly. I sure as hell wouldn't want to use a bad word!
Great story. Funny and a great way to start the day.
Morgan -- you'd damn well better not cuss in my presence, young man!
That is a good one....nerdy?...that was nerdy?...I must be a nerd? Oh!!! surely not?
Anyway, thu skuldar mer bref :)
Hvenaer ertu ad koma til Ameriku?
that may be the best Jesus-related joke i've ever read! hah! and thanks for the great laughs you funny funny little Penguin!! xoxoxo
Doug, I tried, but I didn´t get that one. I really tried though.
Morgan, Miss Quilly would send you straight to detention. She teaches that too, you know!
Tom and Icy, it sure is. A smile makes each morning easy to start!
Quilly, he didn´t. But I swear he intended it. Shouldn´t we punish bad behavior at its core?
Móa, eg sendi ther mail örruglega fyrir viku sidan. Med nakvæmum upplysingum. Eg skal senda thetta aftur thegar eg kem heim. Skritid ad thad skuli ekki hafa komid.
neva, thank you *blushes*
Punish? Hmmm...
Sorry, Morgan, no handcuffs, no leather. Just a small chair in the corner.
Morgan, family friebdly please...my nephews check this page out!
Quilly, can I fly little paper-airplanes into him?
Excellent!!! Well done Minka!
I believe I've said nothing out of colour. The implications made however... :-) All good ideas, save that chair in a corner one.
Joel, i wish I had come up with that joke...but alas...not mine!
Morgan, women are very intuitive, we know exactly what you meant! ;)
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