Tuesday- laughs!
I felt so brain dead this morning it is almost pathetic. Don't worry I am familiar with this particular ailment! I am having my fourth cup of coffee and still...I´ve got nothing!
So I decided to laugh a bit:
Come join me!
Things You Don't Want to Hear or Say in Bed
a)Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
b)On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
c)Got any penicillin?
d)When is this supposed to feel good?
e)You're good enough to do this for a living.
f)But everybody looks funny naked.
g)How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?
h)Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
j)Have you ever considered liposuction?
k)But my cat always sleeps on the pillow!
l)Have you seen Fatal Attraction?
m)Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.
n)Did I mention the video camera?
o)My old boyfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
p)And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend!
q)Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober.....
r)I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
s)You'll still vote for me, won't you?
You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
2. You chew on your wife's fingernails.
3. You can jump-start your car without cables.
4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
5. You can't remember your second cup.
6. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
9. You don't sweat- you percolate.
10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
Lovely Tuesday to all of you! Feel free to add your wisecracks to the list!
FYI: Doug...Tuesday is named after Tyr, who was the Norse equivalent of the Roman war god Mars ;) Thought I´d mention!
POST SCRIPTUM:
Ok...I laughed to much apparently. Life decided to punish me, ´cause when I got up from blogging...my foot decided to give in and I fell to the floor. After five minutes my right foot looked like that:
And this was just after 5 minutes. After 10 minutes I was in pain enough to let go off my camera and phoned somebody who drove me down to the Emergency Room. There I had to wait 2 hitonious (thanks Jamie) hours to wait for a doctor to see me. And you know what? This doctor was sorta cute and I hadn´t shaved my legs in a week! *shocked* I cut my toenails just the day before though. I bet that balanced it out ´cause he kept smiling at me. After the pictures had been taken (I think there were 7) it became clear that a bone indeed was broken. Really!? But beautiful blue-eyed doctor said it was a clean cut so I wouldn't have to get a cast, just two crutches and feel pain for the next three to four weeks. Thanks!
So, I am home now and I already have thought of one good thing in this whole dilemma. The self-knitted socks, that were three sizes to big for me...they fit now :)
So I decided to laugh a bit:
Come join me!
Things You Don't Want to Hear or Say in Bed
a)Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
b)On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
c)Got any penicillin?
d)When is this supposed to feel good?
e)You're good enough to do this for a living.
f)But everybody looks funny naked.
g)How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?
h)Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
j)Have you ever considered liposuction?
k)But my cat always sleeps on the pillow!
l)Have you seen Fatal Attraction?
m)Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.
n)Did I mention the video camera?
o)My old boyfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
p)And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend!
q)Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober.....
r)I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
s)You'll still vote for me, won't you?
You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
2. You chew on your wife's fingernails.
3. You can jump-start your car without cables.
4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
5. You can't remember your second cup.
6. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
9. You don't sweat- you percolate.
10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
Lovely Tuesday to all of you! Feel free to add your wisecracks to the list!
FYI: Doug...Tuesday is named after Tyr, who was the Norse equivalent of the Roman war god Mars ;) Thought I´d mention!
POST SCRIPTUM:
Ok...I laughed to much apparently. Life decided to punish me, ´cause when I got up from blogging...my foot decided to give in and I fell to the floor. After five minutes my right foot looked like that:
And this was just after 5 minutes. After 10 minutes I was in pain enough to let go off my camera and phoned somebody who drove me down to the Emergency Room. There I had to wait 2 hitonious (thanks Jamie) hours to wait for a doctor to see me. And you know what? This doctor was sorta cute and I hadn´t shaved my legs in a week! *shocked* I cut my toenails just the day before though. I bet that balanced it out ´cause he kept smiling at me. After the pictures had been taken (I think there were 7) it became clear that a bone indeed was broken. Really!? But beautiful blue-eyed doctor said it was a clean cut so I wouldn't have to get a cast, just two crutches and feel pain for the next three to four weeks. Thanks!
So, I am home now and I already have thought of one good thing in this whole dilemma. The self-knitted socks, that were three sizes to big for me...they fit now :)
52 Comments:
So that's why I no longer grind my teeth! Funny girl.
Thanks, Minka. Is there a day named after the Norse God of smart*sses? Maybe Monday?
These are funny. I'll try to add to the first list.
11. Take your time, baby, Dad can't climb stairs like he used to.
12. You know, I bet my friend Tina would really like you.
13. Oink.
14. Oh, that's you! I thought my asps got out again.
15. You never said anything about a conjoined twin.
16. Wait'll I tell Father Callahan!
17. hot2trot7784?!?!? I'm hot2trot1138!
18. No, ma'am. Just a toad.
19. Fooled you! The rope only goes halfway down!
20. The zookeeper has the weekend off.
21. Talk to me.
Just because I seem not to be working hard, I'll try the coffee one now.
1. You start smuggling Folger's Crystals inside bags of cocaine.
2. You drive to work only to discover you forgot your car keys.
3. The guy at Starbuck's tells you "Closing time. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."
4. You and your friends appoint a designated flusher.
5. You leave two long comments in a row and you're not a Bohemian.
Ooooooh! I wish I was as clever as Doug.....I am not, soooo I will just say hi! :p
Laughing really does help when you're brian dead...(like me after class).
So the first list... you left off:
1. zzzzzzzzz *snore* zzzzzzzz
2. You know, I have to say your mom was better.
3. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
4. Maybe you need to call the doctor about that...
5. If you'd quit smoking you might be able to keep up.
6. Do I still have to be here in the morning?
7. Let's go get a burger, what do ya say?
8. Are you finished yet? My husband will be home soon.
9. You wanted me to use a condom?
10. That feels so.... What? You're done!?
I've got more, but I think I should stop now.
Minka! LOL LOL HA! SO many good ones, I'm afraid I can't think of one for you, sigh...pout. Love the fun, though! D
G...thank you. I am funny. Usually on Tuesday between 9-11 :)
Doug, I bet there is such a day and if you look in the dictionary you´ll find your picture right next to it ;)
But very funny those additions of yours. I laughed a lot and I needed that...see addendum in a couple of minutes....
Moa,"hi" right back at ye!
solace, 1, 4 and 8 had me laughing so hard...very well done. I´ll give you an A and send it along to your teachers :)
FF, that was teh reson for this post. WE all can use laughter once a day!
Monika, there is no Douday. Eagerly and nervously awaiting your addendum.
Hi Minka, Renny from Norway here! I coincidentally came by your blog and was browsing around. You really have a nice and interesting blog as I love to read about other countries, their culture and habits. I have a lot of blog friends all over the world, but then I realise you where from Iceland – one top of my short list for countries to visit! I have been to Reykjavík a couple of times, but only passing through on my way to US. I’ve been in mostly all other parts of the world, so of course it’s shame I haven’t visit a Scandinavian neighbour. Your blog tempt me, so who knows:-)
I enjoyed reading your bed and coffee stories and yes, I know Tyr. Watch out for Thor in a couple of days then – his hammer could be really sparkling you know!
LOL!! very funny!
Doug, it is up now ;)
Ariel, I hope that laughing belongs to the former section of my post today :)
Brian, RELOAD!!! :)
and now everybody:
a pitty: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Minka...so sorry...that looks painful! Was there more to it than just getting up from your computer?
Joel, I am embarassed to admit that I have an odd way of sitting. usually i put my right foot under my sweet little tushie, whilst the left food dangles freely above the floor. Somehow the left foot fell asleep and got numb and when I stood up, it just gave way and I heard a noise that suggested: ooops!
minka! i go out and have lunch with my NBFF and come back to find this??? i can't leave you alone for a minute, can i?
now see, if you were in America you A) would have been too busy doing something else to break your foot in such a fashion and/or B) would be waited on hand and... er... foot if you *had*!
i'm sooooo sorry this has happened and i hope the bone heals quickly. (arnica montana is very good for swelling and/or bruise reduction). feel better sweet Penguin, and make it snappy!! (no broken foot pun intended) xoxo
ps...i just read your note to Joel, i sit that way too. or i did until today! xox
awwwwww - who knew blogging could be so dangerous!? Speedy recovery but, switches to Jewish mother voice "You say a blue eyed doctor? I think the left one's not looking so good either..."
Take good care - I guess this means you won't be serving snacks in the Snark for a week or so. First Harry or Klein or Harry Klein. You birds live dangerously there in Iceland. Be careful!
rennyba, well welcome then. It is a surprise that you, a Norwegian, havenæt been here yet. After all you great...great grandfather probably settled this land :)
I also met a Norwegian girl today in the Emergency room area, who moved 6 weeks ago to Iceland and is loving it!
neva, apparently it is not the best of sitting position I was told today...Besides I move too quickly and I just jumped up without knowing my foot was numb and therefore when reaching teh floor teh foot simply couldn´t support my weight!
g, it's been a tough couple of weeks in Queensland, but we do take it with royal style :) The painkillers are kicking in :)And are you kidding? The Snark will be my playground for teh next couple of weeks...what else is a Penguin to do that isnæt allowed to move too much?
Aw, man, Minka. I'm sorry. That is good news about the socks, though. And the camera. If it weren't for this blog, breaking your foot would have been pointless.
Oh Minka, Minka, Minka, where to begin? First, let me tell you how shocked I am that you don't have black and white feet. When I saw hte March of teh Penquins I was sure their feet looked significantly different than the ones in the photo. Second shock...you let ol' blue eyes get away! I'm with your Jewish mother on this...you better go for a followup..it really hurts doesn't it?
seriously, I'm sorry you are hurting.
Go back and read your bed and coffee jokes a few more times..laughter is the best approach. I had quite a snicker over those two lists and was dumbfounded at the response you got from your brother. Way to go girl!
Good heavens! Not the way you intended to spend your evening... the sock is lovely though :-D Nice, that you will be using the crutches whilst there is no snow & ice outside.
I must say, I like the sock though. Forgot to mention that. Take care. You don't want to slip, hopping around in sock feet!
Oh, Minka - poor love, such pain you must've had! Rest well and heal quickly. Make sure you go back to that hunk for check ups! D
Oh no, Minka! I'm so sorry to hear you broke your foot. The socks are cute on you though. So, do you get to go back to the cute doctor for follow up in a few weeks?
Seriously, hope it doesn't hurt too much and take care of yourself.
See, that's why you should never get rid of things like the underwear and socks from your 80 year old grandmother. They DO come in handy from time to time. Anyway, wish you a speedy recovery.
*note to self: don't let feet fall asleep while blogging*
My dear Minka, ae,ae,ae....thetad var ekki got.....saetir sokkar. I hope all goes well in the healing department.....but just to make sure, why don't you just check with a certain blue eyed doctor tomorrow, bring vinabrod with you, nammi ;)
Brian, ar eyou implying somethign I am not getting? Well, I´ll bring soem white wine and see :)
Doug, nothing like a heartfelt sarcastic comment from you to get me down to earth!
Kyahgirl, he has my number on my forms...the ball´s in his court. Feminism and all I like a man to pursue MEEEEEE!
tsduff, always look on the bright side of life! :)*humms*
FF, I liove in reykjavik, the chances that I´ll see blue-eyed hunk again are 99% ;) Besides I think I know who his cousin is;)Seriously!
Sar, I will. Somehow people are very pressuring about me meeting up with a dude. Now why can that be, one wonders?!
solace, I made these socks...are you implying they look old-fashioned? ;)
Móa, thad er nu bara agætis hugmynd. eg skal hugsa malið!
geez, girl, that was a little too much sacrifice to be done just to be able to wear those selfmade socks, I guess they were real kind gifts from someone? so sorry for your misery! I hope the blue eyed wonder doctor did his best, and that bone will be better than ever when you recover!!
oh I hope he appreciated your anklelace. :)
Oh no! I am afraid you are the first to be injured by blogging! Who knew this could be?
I hope that you are not in too much pain (but after being up into the wee hours of the night I wonder about the reasons why! May it not have been pain!)
I actually sit like you too and have trained myself to not do it anymore as it resulted in intense ankle pain that was affecting my yoga practice and well, you know me and yoga!
Oh dear! I wish I could help somehow! So for now, all the boho kisses and love I can muster is being sent your way you delightfully clumsy Ice Queen you!
TAKE CARE OF YOU!
Nah, not that they look old-fashioned. They look good actually, I was just pointing out that you know when you get some strange, knitted thing from an elderly family member you want to throw it away, but it always comes in handy after.
Like I said, they look good though! I know I can't do that.
Ten pieces of advice for a penguin with a broken foot:
10. Don't be embarrassed. A waddle and a limp are practically the same thing.
9. That'll teach you to get up from blogging.
8. It's a good thing you didn't knit yourself a hat.
7. If the cardiologist is as good-looking as the E.R. doctor, consider obesity.
6. Isn't it about time the Seniors from Sunnahil? took care of you for once?
5. What part of "flightless" don't you understand?
4. Prescription: Codeine as needed, keep weight off foot, and no running. Let someone else be first on Waking Ambrose for 2-3 weeks.
3. Ice packs can be reused as pillows.
2. Swimming makes excellent rehabilitative therapy as long as you swim slowly and don't overexert. (from a sea lion).
1. Get well soon, Minka.
Ariel, yes he did appreciate it, he had to take it off though when putting teh sock on, he was very gentle :)
Brian, I know I didn´t read that! ;)
Ice Queen, well at leats all my servants are acting as they are supposed to now. I get tea brought to my bed, food in the morning. People are carrying me up and down the stairs. I canæt complain :) But thank you and I am taking good care of myself...although I tried to do some simple exercises this morning...and it was a bit hard and painful.
Actonbell, i shaved after I came home. With two crutches and my ability to move in incoherent patterns, that visit might come sooner tahn expected!
solace, don't worry I was just trying to have you on. And we icelanders do appreciate the gifts of over-sized old woolen socks. The climate makes us do so :)
Doug, that brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so very much for cheering me up this Wednesday morning. You are amazing!
Miz B is right, you are a victim of blogging. I've never thought of it before! now we all can see, blogging is real dangerous.
I'm just realizing, I live a life of danger!
yes Ariel, we are living on the edge, but it was getting up from bloggingthat killed my bone...would I have sat longer and continued nothing might have happened;)
Always three sides to every coin my firend. Your side, mine and the truth :)
Ha, ha, haaa! You called me Ice Queen! Methinks thou art delirious from the pain... or am I still sleepy?
Hmmm!
Ja hugsadu malid, enn ekki of lengi...Laeknir bla augu gaeti verid tekinn af annari stelpu....vertu fljot.
Miz B. I did. I really did and I don't know why. I blame the painkillers!
Everybody, In case I am unfriendly or too friendly, too hot or too cold today...I blame the Painkillers!
Móa, það veit eg ekki. Hann hefur sed mig, nu veit hann hvad er i bodi. hann saettir sig ekki lengur vid havd sem er ;)
So very glad you're up and around today. Feeling a mite better, it sounds. Very good. Now follow Miz B's advice - err warning, and take care of yourself! D
Minka, that sitting position of yours isn't bad. It's impossible!
If I tried to stick either one of my feet under my posterior, the popping and cracking noises would be heard by the secret surveillance systems here in the US and spawn a terrorist Red Alert. And this was long before the first gray hair!
And if I ever managed to get a foot into that position, it would take a team of chiropractors to get it out again!
Do all of you ostdeutschen Islanderin do things like this?!?
get well soon.
Ja eg er sammala....hvad var eg ad hugsa.
Years ago I used to sit like a frog either on the sofa or on the floor doing my art....see where that got me?.....to the hosp. for new knees.....I also used to sit on one foot or the other....sometimes it does not pay to be limber. see o ceallaigh it is not impossible for limber people....just foolish.
OC...many people sit like that. three already commented here doing such a silly thing. It is very easy, when you are above teh age of 35 :)
Please don't try this at home!
Móa, veit ekki hvad thu varst as paela :)
yeah, I think I will from now on conciously put both my feet safely on the ground while sitting! Limberness just doesn´t pay off in the end!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
OC, each women knows at least 20 positions like that to be used while sitting in front of their computers to keep the circulation up in their legs. + I know a man, too. time after time one or another of us lands on the floor.
Minka, does your painkiller taste like a pinewood? if so, be careful with it, it can be a real addiction!
The doctor gave me a pack of 100 painkillers...addiction is inevatible :)
Nope, i have taken only two todya and they donæt taste like anything really.
I think if you mix them with turpentine they'll taste like pinewood. Not that you should.
OC, your comment made me break up! I'm with you - things just don't bend that way sometimes!
Monika - just don't try washing the painkillers down with Brennivin LOL!
Doug, do I detect a hint of cheek, my friend?
TS duff, I use water and blueberry juice. And I got some herbal pills as well, to help with the swelling. Well mom got them for me...I would go to work if somebody would let me!
Are we related?I sit the same way. Do you know how hazardous that is when your in a chair...with wheels? And you're as graceful as me? But I haven't broken anything...yet.
And hey! At least your doctor was goodlooking!
Blogging is good for your health...apparently it's the stopping that's dangerous.
I second that, Jenna. Let´s blog away and never stop. maybe we should get a hunk to serve us food while we are at it? That´d be cool...see I am still beyond myself after reading that story of yours :)
Your post gave me a lot of smiles till I read of your mishap. Take care of yourself.
Thanks Tim, i will.
I am a clutz at times :)
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