Liar...Liar
to lie: an action in which one person deliberately sets out to mislead another
Now, all of you have been told a thousand times that you are not supposed to lie. When we were little we even got punished for it...if we were caught!
I was thinking though today: ´Where would I be if I hadn´t lied during the last week?´ Imagine my superior would have asked me if I had any difficulties working with her, I´d probably be out of work today if I would have given an affirmative to that.
So, are lies always wrong? Imagine I would ask my boyfriend if the dress I am wearing makes me look fat and he would reply "Yes, in fact it does. I´d rather you´d wear that green one which matches my suit." Now, this dress might make me actually look bigger than the other, but I doubt I would be happy about my boyfriend´s answer. Is he a liar?
There must be a distinction between different lies we tell. A slight distortion of the truth that makes other people feel better about themselves is ok in my view, actually a nice gesture. We spare other´s feelings by "lying" and our lifes are far more peaceful and less aggressive. So :"No honey, this dress looks so great on you, it emphazises your female shape and the colour matches your eyes" is a better approach to keep me and him happy!
Most of us have dyed our hair, put on make up, wear heels, substarcted a few points of our weight...all in order to distort the truth a little to present ourselves in a better light. I therefore belief that some lies are an asset to our society, the ones where we shelter others form the harsh and painful reality of their shortcomings.
However, when a lie becomes something that is intended to hurt or disadvantage someone else, for my own benefit than a lie becomes dangerous. This involves when someone withholds vital information or conciously misrepresents a fact. Those lies, I think, we should feel guilty about.
Now, I´ll be off to work and tell those old ones that their relatives will probably visit them tomorrow.
Stephen Spielberg:"Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty."
to lie: an action in which one person deliberately sets out to mislead another
Now, all of you have been told a thousand times that you are not supposed to lie. When we were little we even got punished for it...if we were caught!
I was thinking though today: ´Where would I be if I hadn´t lied during the last week?´ Imagine my superior would have asked me if I had any difficulties working with her, I´d probably be out of work today if I would have given an affirmative to that.
So, are lies always wrong? Imagine I would ask my boyfriend if the dress I am wearing makes me look fat and he would reply "Yes, in fact it does. I´d rather you´d wear that green one which matches my suit." Now, this dress might make me actually look bigger than the other, but I doubt I would be happy about my boyfriend´s answer. Is he a liar?
There must be a distinction between different lies we tell. A slight distortion of the truth that makes other people feel better about themselves is ok in my view, actually a nice gesture. We spare other´s feelings by "lying" and our lifes are far more peaceful and less aggressive. So :"No honey, this dress looks so great on you, it emphazises your female shape and the colour matches your eyes" is a better approach to keep me and him happy!
Most of us have dyed our hair, put on make up, wear heels, substarcted a few points of our weight...all in order to distort the truth a little to present ourselves in a better light. I therefore belief that some lies are an asset to our society, the ones where we shelter others form the harsh and painful reality of their shortcomings.
However, when a lie becomes something that is intended to hurt or disadvantage someone else, for my own benefit than a lie becomes dangerous. This involves when someone withholds vital information or conciously misrepresents a fact. Those lies, I think, we should feel guilty about.
Now, I´ll be off to work and tell those old ones that their relatives will probably visit them tomorrow.
Stephen Spielberg:"Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty."
4 Comments:
Yes white lies are definitely good because who wants to hear the reply "yes" to "does my bum look big in this?" These are of course questions in which we infer the desired response! :-) Equally, all those little lies you tell at school about how your dad is a fighter pilot or astronaut on the weekends are also harmless. Actually when I was little my cousin suggested I tell people I'm related to Björk for a joke because Iceland is so far away but of course the Channel Islands being a small place, everyone heard about it, and to this day I think people still believe that I have a famous cousin!! She of course made it worse by coming over on holiday and telling people she had dinner with her before she came over and all those creative things your mind can only come up with as a child. Mind you, we are all related in Iceland so I just forgot to mention that she was a cousin 5 times removed, only a semi-white lie and I was only 13... so I think we can also be forgiven for all white lies during childhood. At least I hope so! :-) But yes, then there are those big lies designed to hurt someone's feelings or hide deceit and they're the most awful kind because they break your heart. Has any woman ever had a guy say "yeah actually you do look fat in that?" If so... you might wanna refer him to Monika's page here so he knows that actually there are times for lies and times for truth... and that just ain't a time for truth!!
Mamma says:
No, I got a big this and that and if I ask somebody if this or that looks still bigger in this dress, I would like a truthfull answer so I can change my clothes.. so, if you want to hear something nice, dont´t ask me...:)
People and their fragile feelings are ridiculous, if we only all toughened up a little and told the friggin' truth all the time, then it wouldn't be so shocking to us when we hear brutal honesty! just think of all the time wasted coming up with stupid lies and excuses, truth is bold and powerful, it says to someone ,Hey I'm givin' you enough credit as to being mature and strong minded enough to give you the bare bones truth. Now that's a person who truly thinks highly of you, wether you look or are fat or not. Who gives a damn, I tell my woman her rump doesn't look fat, it is fat, now strip those damn pants off because I like it!
P.S. It seems you really don't like this boss of yours babe so maybe rather than lie, this would be an opportunity to say, actually, I think you're a fire-breathing dragon... I hate my job and I hate you... it would probably make you feel so much better and hey, if you lose your job, there are worst reasons to be fired, right? ;-)
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